well, here we are! the last, first day of high school. i had a great day, but i'm completely not ready! i've done all my homework and stuff, but i just don't feel ready to be a senior...hope many things change this year. already, i know that one word will ring true throughout this year: emotional. i know that i just started senior year, but i already know that it will be filled with emotions both good and bad. i'm sure there will be many fantastic moments and times to come, but i also know that there will be many ends to things that have now been a big part of my life for the last few years. so many changes have taken place in me since i first started high school. so much growth. and most importantly, so many amazing people i have met or gotten closer to that i can't imagine my life without; i thank God everyday for everyone He has blessed me with in my life.
on a side note, something i've been noticing a lot of recently: you know those people you don't necessarily get along with or just absolutely can't stand to be around? i know you all know what i'm talking about (if you don't then, boy you've just about achieved perfection! haha). well, i've been discovering that those people often teach me some of the most valuable lessons, if i can manage to look past the annoyed and sometimes angry or hurt feelings i experience when around such a person. (keep this in mind for another post that is to come...i'll give a more specific example).
i guess what made me think of that was that ultimately i'm even thankful for the people i don't like all that well. i should consider the fact that maybe God has put them near me to teach me a lesson in patience or to challenge my faith or maybe both. i had a pretty intense conversation with alicia along these lines after practice today...good stuff.
well, getting back on track here, sorry...i read a quote on my friend's blog the other day stating, "don't worry about life, you're not going to survive it anyway." on first thought, this may sound a bit morbid or depressing, but i find it quite encouraging. after reading it i basically thought "this is a great quote to say lets not get hung up on little things; they won't matter in the big picture" and then just kept doing what i was doing. it wasn't till yesterday afternoon a little light bulb in my head went off where i connected this quote to something ms. admiraal read as a devotional at practice. in my mind i broke that quote down into two parts: a "why" and "how". in the story, the person is in a room with filing cards (like the ones at the library) and on each card was something of that person's life recorded in his own writing with his signature. basically what happens is Jesus comes in and then begins going through all the worst cards and signing his name over the signature of the person, taking the sins of that person upon himself. there is the connection for the "why". that is exactly why we do not have to worry about life; because Jesus signs himself accountable for all our mistakes. now, why would someone take all the blame for us to just simply die? because though we may die from this world and this earth, we still get to live. how? with God in heaven.
and maybe this entire thing was completely obvious to you all the second you heard it (i'm not talking about the second part...i've known about the whole heaven thing for a while :) or maybe you have no idea how any of this connects or makes sense, but for me this was super encouraging and a great way to put concepts into a more concrete form.
and yet again i am way off track...motto for the year: don't worry, cause i'm gonna die anyways! haha! no, but we'll just see what all happens and i'm going to try and enjoy every minute of this year to the fullest! i'm also going to make a huge effort to let God do with me what He wants and to listen more, cause i need to do a whole lot of growing this year if i want to be ready to graduate come June. haha! :)
all in all it was a really great day back! hope you all had a great day as well whether you started school or not.
2 comments:
deep post! :]
i totally had that exact conversation (about God putting those "annoying" people in your life for a reason) with someone! That is DEFINITELY something that has been on my mind lately!
i like this post a lot!
love your quote ;P and yes, that is what i took it to mean too, although i admit i didn't exactly put it in to words like you did.
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